Who Love You Now and Loved You Then
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: And how it whispered, oh, adhere to me for we are bound by symmetry.


**Disclaimer**: Everything about this story belongs to the song "Red Right Ankle" by the Decemberists

**A/N: **Okay, I feel like I need to explain this story. It started out innocently enough; I was listening to "Red Right Ankle" by The Decemberists and there are three little stories that make up the song and I thought to myself "wouldn't that be cute to write three little stories based on those lyrics?" Well, I got a little carried away and I'm not entirely sure that this story makes sense because it's like three separate pieces now but they still all connect to the song so...mission accomplished I guess? The pieces are non-linear and would technically go in order of middle, end and beginning. If nothing else, everyone should listen to the song because it's much better than this story and pretty amazing. And this story is, as always, for thefutillitarian.

**"Who Love You Now and Loved You Then" **

Aubrey has seen Chloe naked before. It's an (unintentional?) side effect of community bathrooms in college. In all things, Chloe is shameless, open and confident. For some reason, this means that she doesn't always feel the need to wear a robe or a towel unless she's preparing to walk back down the hallway to their dorm. Thank god for that bit of discretion. Over the past three years, Aubrey has definitely see Chloe in nothing more than a piece or two of jewelry.

But this is different. This is special. This is Chloe, choosing to be naked for her. Undressing herself, for her. Aubrey can't stop staring. Even now, with her own body still flushed and languid from Chloe's touch and Chloe asleep beside her. Aubrey has never felt like this before: tired and electric at the same time, worn out in the best way possible, her skin and muscles and fingers vibrating with the memory of Chloe's touch. She's never let anyone undress her before, never let anyone see her like that, never let anyone touch her or kiss her or hold her like that before but with Chloe, it had just felt right. Perfect. If there's a word more perfect than perfect, that's exactly how it felt.

Aubrey is laying on her side in Chloe's bed, unable to stop staring at the girl laying there beside her. Chloe always sleeps so soundly and now is no exception. She still has the sleepy smile on her face and one arm is tucked under her body, the other dangling off the side of the bed. Aubrey wants to kiss her until she wakes up like a princess in a fairy tale. Only Aubrey doesn't want their story to end with a kiss. She figures the real happily ever after comes next.

But Aubrey doesn't lean forward and kiss her, she doesn't put her arms around Chloe and pull her close or curl herself against the redhead and let herself fall asleep to the soundtrack of Chloe's breathing and heartbeat. She traces Chloe's facial features with her eyes instead of her fingers or lips, content in the knowledge that she caused the flush that her skin still carries. Those marks (whoops) on her shoulders and lower back are from her fingers. That smile is from her kisses and from how well their bodies fit together, the answer to an equation that Aubrey, in all her cultivated intelligence, had never been able to answer before.

Chloe's hair twists around the nape of her neck and her cheeks and her shoulders, tangled and knotted from Aubrey's fingers. Aubrey wonders what she looks like. Does she wear the same tired, blissful smile on her face? Is her own hair twisted and wild from being wound around Chloe's fingers? What marks does she have on her body? What signs does she show of what happened? Does she look different? Aubrey's not sure that she feels different, just…happy.

Aubrey reaches over and gently brushes Chloe's hair away from her face, not wanting to wake her. She trails her fingers lightly across the curve of Chloe's shoulder, resting her hand in the dip between Chloe's shoulder blades. Chloe's skin is dusted with freckles and Aubrey traces meaningless patterns and designs against her skin. She wants to trace those same patterns with her lips.

Chloe stirs but doesn't wake and Aubrey pulls her hand away, her cheeks flushing. She feels like an idiot. Only a total creep would just lay around watching someone sleep. Aubrey used to think those types of moments in books or movies were totally weird but here she is now, doing the exact same thing.

She gets out of bed and puts on the sleep-shirt that Chloe was wearing earlier just because it's the closest piece of clothing. Chloe's favorite thing to sleep in is an old football T-shirt of her father's and a pair of workout shorts and Aubrey is relieved that she no longer has to control herself when Chloe puts on this ensemble. It's a relief to know that she no longer has to curl her fingers into her palms instead of pulling Chloe to her; it's a relief to know that she no longer has to recite the Constitution from start to finish so she doesn't think about kissing Chloe; it's a relief to know that she's not the only one who felt all these things.

The shirt falls just above mid-thigh, so Aubrey decides not to bother wasting time trying to find another article of clothing to put on. It's their apartment anyway; she can walk around in nothing more than a shirt if she wants to.

Aubrey goes into the kitchen and fills a glass with water and as she brings the glass to her lips, she realizes that she's smiling. Thinking about Chloe has always had that affect on her, but now she definitely has more of a reason to smile. Aubrey feels a warmth start in her stomach and spread lower down as her thoughts turn toward Chloe's touch, her kisses, her hand between her legs. Aubrey feels herself blush. She's always suspected that she blushed with her whole body, not just her cheeks but Chloe has been the first person to be able to confirm that fact.

When Aubrey walks back into the bedroom, Chloe is still asleep, though she's changed positions now. She's on her side now, her legs free of the bed sheet that's twisted around her hips. Aubrey slips back into bed but she doesn't lay down again. Instead she allows herself the opportunity to continue tracing the hills and valleys of Chloe's body with the tips of her fingers. A part of her is marveling at the dips and curves that make up the woman she's falling in love with. A part of her is being playful, no longer able to keep herself from waking Chloe. She feels lonely and insatiable and only Chloe can fix that.

Aubrey's fingers move from the rise of her hip to the backs of Chloe's thighs and to the swell of calves, toned from Alice's cardio and the runs that Aubrey insists they go on at least four days a week. Chloe's skin is smooth and soft and Aubrey knows that it smells like the coconut lotion that Chloe always steals from her bathroom. Aubrey has stopped wearing the lotion herself so that the smell can remind her solely of Chloe.

Aubrey's touch moves from Chloe's calves to the stop where her ankle meets her leg, her fingers playing across the soft ridges of the muscles and tendons that lie beneath her skin. The muscles and bones and skin and veins that make up this woman she would gladly give everything to without a second thought.

As Aubrey's fingers move across her skin, Chloe flinches and giggles, rolling over onto her back. "That tickles." She tells Aubrey, her eyes opening and fixing the blonde with a warm stare. "I'm ticklish."

Aubrey smiles and trails her fingers lightly across Chloe's foot and ankle again and again Chloe giggles and pulls her foot away, curling her toes. "Hands off." Chloe says playfully, pushing herself up into a sitting position.

Aubrey feels a slow grin spread across her face and she shakes her head, leaning forward to kiss Chloe. "Impossible."

Chloe doesn't seem to mind when Aubrey breaks her own hands off rule.

**- - - x x x - - -**

"Tell me again why _you're_ the one doing this?" Aubrey questions as she flicks on the light, illuminating the eaves and corners of the attic. She's never seen so much junk crammed in one place. But, after seeing Chloe's childhood room and certain rooms of the Beale household, all the junk should come as no surprise. "Where's the rest of your family?"

Chloe shrugs, following Aubrey up the stairs and into the attic. "JJ has a soccer game and Will has that quiz bowl tournament in Charlotte. And I'm still not sure my mom is ready to deal with…all this, you know?"

Aubrey arches an eyebrow. "And this has to be done today because….?"

"You don't have to help Aubrey Posen." Chloe replies haughtily, crossing her arms over her chest. "You are more than willing to spend the rest of your Saturday somewhere other than a dark, dusty attic, throwing away old crap."

"What, and miss seeing what's in a box labeled _Charms and Bottles_?" Aubrey reads one of the faded cardboard boxes. "How could I miss out on that?"

Chloe smirks. "Yeah, my uncle was weird. He traveled all the time and lived in Europe most of his life. I only met him like twice." She shrugs, walking over to one of the boxes. "He never shaved and he always wore weird clothes and had all these tattoos and told weird stories about all the places he lived in."

"Interesting." Aubrey remarks in a tone that makes it sound like she's not all that interested. She picks up a dusty old bowler hat and drops it on Chloe's head. "And your parents don't want to keep any of this stuff?"

"Well, my mom said to look out for old family photos or stuff that looked interesting or important." Chloe replies, taking the hat off her head and wrinkling her nose. "I don't think this qualifies as interesting or important."

Aubrey shrugs. "Why not just leave all this stuff up here for the person who bought the house? Give them something to do as they're trying to move all their stuff in?"

Chloe pulls open one of the boxes and sneezes when a puff of dust hits her face. "And possibly lose out on some Nowak family history?" She questions, feigning a look of disgust. "My mom would never go for that."

Aubrey opens the box marked _Charms and Bottles_ and pulls a grimy glass bottle out of the box. "I'm really skeptical that there's anything worthwhile in most of these." She remarks.

"You're probably right." Chloe rummages through the box that she's opened. "I don't even know how my uncle has all of this stuff anyway. I almost never remember him being home. It seemed like he traveled all the time, that's why we never saw him. JJ only met him once and Will's never see him at all. When my mom told us he died last week Will had no idea who she was talking about."

Aubrey digs through the box, pushing past the bottles in an attempt to find out what Chloe's Uncle Ryan considered "charms." When she finds one, she quickly wishes that she hadn't. She pulls the creation out of the box, holding it up for Chloe to see. "Your uncle was weird." She says simply, grimacing at the dream-catcher with three chicken bones dangling off it. She hopes they're chicken bones anyway.

Chloe wrinkles her nose. "Yeah, you're not kidding. He gave Justine something like that once and insisted she hang it in her room. She started crying." Chloe laughs at the memory and shakes her head. "He used to tell us that he was a gypsy and knew all these spells and could read our palms and stuff."

Aubrey drops the "charm" back in the box and closes it up before setting it aside. "Your mom doesn't seem like a gypsy."

"I'm not really sure where he got all that from. My grandpa was Polish but…are there a lot of gypsies in Poland?" Chloe mumbles, setting aside a box as well and moving on to the next one. There are boxes stacked floor to ceiling in some places; this is going to take all day.

Aubrey shrugs. "I'm not sure, I'm not very familiar with gypsy culture and history." She admits in a tone that suggests to Chloe that she's going to be spending the rest of the weekend familiarizing herself.

For a while, they work in silence, pausing only when they discover something particularly interesting or confusing that necessitates quizzical looks and laughter. They have a growing pile of stuff that Chloe deems important enough to take back to her mother but the pile destined for the trash is even larger. Aubrey carries a box full of pots and pans over to the trash pile and studies the collection. So many of these boxes are old, torn, water damaged in some places and carefully labeled. She wonders if Chloe's uncle ever thought that all his possessions would be cleaned out one day by a niece he hardly knew; if he knew that the things he spent his life gathering would just end up in the trash a week after he died. For some reason, that line of thinking makes Aubrey sad. It makes her want to salvage something, even though she's never been the type of person to keep many things for sentimental value or have a lot of clutter hanging around. Almost all the knickknacks in the apartment are Chloe's. But still…it just seems like something should be left.

"Bree, will you give me a hand with this?" Chloe questions, straining to take down a box on top of a pile. Before Aubrey can even turn around, the box comes tumbling down and Chloe winces as it crashes to the floor. "Never mind."

Aubrey whirls around, feeling relieved when she sees that Chloe is unharmed. They've already made a trip to the hospital earlier in the year, she doesn't really want to go back.

Chloe pushes the box right-side up, but the cardboard is torn and stuff is spilling out everywhere. She starts trying to sort through the items, trying to put everything back into the box but she stops when she notices that the floorboards are slightly askew. "Oops. I think I broke the floor."

"What? How? What was in that box?" Aubrey comes to kneel down beside Chloe, studying the crooked floorboards. She grabs one of the boards and tugs, falling backward when it comes loose easily.

Chloe laughs at her and Aubrey sticks her tongue out at her girlfriend. Chloe removes a few more boards and her eyes light up. "It's like a secret hiding place! How cool is that? I've always wanted one of these."

"You've always wanted a place under the floorboards?" Aubrey questions, sitting up again and studying the hole Chloe has found in the floor. "Is there anything down there?"

Chloe pales a little. "I'm not sticking my hand down there! What if there are snakes or spiders or…dead bodies or something?"

Aubrey laughs. "I don't think there are dead bodies down there. It's not that big. And I doubt there are snakes either, seeing as this is an attic and why would the snakes even be up here?"

"What about spiders?"

"Could be spiders."

"Then I am definitely not sticking my hand down there."

"Don't you want to know what's down there?"

"_You_ stick your hand down there."

"Okay."

Chloe grabs Aubrey's hand before she can reach into the hole in the floorboards. "Wait!" Aubrey gives Chloe an exasperated look. "What if something happens."

Aubrey arches an eyebrow. "Like what? You need to stop watching those old horror movies, Beale, they're doing things to your brain." She shakes her head before pulling her hand away from Chloe's and reaching into the space between the floorboards.

Chloe purses her lips, watching Aubrey closely. "What's down there?"

Aubrey feels around, her fingers groping blindly for anything solid. "Spiders. Snakes. Oh…yep, definitely a dead body." Chloe gives her a playful shove and almost knocks Aubrey over again. "I really don't think there's anything…wait, yes there is."

Aubrey pulls out a half-rotted wooden box, setting it gently down on the floor between them. Chloe looks down at the box before giving Aubrey an apprehensive look. "Should we open it?"

"Why not?" Aubrey questions, giving Chloe a skeptical look. "You're not still thinking about one of those movies are you?"

Chloe makes a face. "Don't tease me, Posen. You'll be sleeping on the couch." Aubrey scoffs and rolls her eyes. Empty threats. "Okay, let's open it."

When Chloe lifts the top it breaks away from the rest of the box, the wood too soft to hold itself together. Chloe gives Aubrey a guilty look before dropping the top back into the space between the floor boards. Out of sight, out of mind.

There's only one thing contained in the box: a yellowed, folded envelope that has what looks like an address written in elaborate scrawl across the front. The address is located in a country called Andorra, which even Aubrey has never heard of. Chloe opens the envelope and a key falls into her palm.

Aubrey takes the envelope from Chloe and studies the writing, which is somehow still legible even though the box and the envelope are falling apart. "This must be a home address. I wonder how long the box has been down there and if you uncle put it there."

"It looks like his handwriting." Chloe remarks. She studies the key. "It could be some sort of secret gypsy hideout that he's been keeping secret all these years."

"I bet your mother would definitely find that interesting." Aubrey hands the envelope back to Chloe. "You should give it to her."

Chloe hesitates before returning the key to the envelope. "Yeah…I wonder what type of place it is. Or what he has there."

Aubrey smirks. "Maybe gypsy treasure." She says, her tone slightly teasing. "Or maybe more junk like all this crap."

"It could be treasure." Chloe points out. "Who knows what my uncle was doing over there in Europe all the time. We could go find this place and be rich and never have to work again."

Aubrey purses her lips. "What would we do if we never had to work again?"

"Spend our lives cleaning out people's attics." Chloe deadpans. She rolls her eyes. "You're no fun Posen."

"Maybe we just have different versions of fun." Aubrey counters, getting to her feet. She helps Chloe up as well. "We'll look the address up when we get home. Just to see what's there."

Chloe agrees, folding the envelope and putting it in her back pocket.

Over the course of the afternoon, they find themselves discussing Chloe's uncle and what he might have in his mystery house. It makes going through the boxes and moving them to the dumpster outside less toilsome. By the time the sun begins to set, Chloe has invented a whole elaborate history for her uncle, one that barely coincides with the man that she actually knew. He seems like a completely different person in her mind now, a larger than life figure who traveled through Europe with only a trusty tame wolf for his companion (he rescued the wolf from a hunter as a pup, which explains the undying loyalty). Her uncle made his fortune helping people with supernatural problems and by giving advice about love and farming and the weather. The address on the envelope belongs to a modest home but there are trinkets and riches hidden in the walls and under the floors, different forms of payment and knickknacks from the people he helped throughout the years. For the first time, Chloe actually misses her uncle and wishes that she'd made more of an effort to get to know him when he was around. Now he's gone and she'll never be able to ask him if there's any truth to the stories in her head.

By the time Aubrey and Chloe call it a day, the attic is more or less cleaned out and Chloe is content with leaving the rest for her parents and brothers to deal with. She's done her fair share. She slips her arm around Aubrey's waist as they walk to the car. They're both filthy: dirty and sweaty and in desperate need of a shower. "Thank you for coming." She kisses Aubrey's dirt smudged cheek. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Aubrey smiles at her and kisses Chloe's forehead. "I guess it wasn't _so_ bad…" She teases. "And we did find the mystery key so I guess it's all worth it."

Chloe gets into the passenger seat of the car and leans back with a sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Let's do takeout tonight. And then you can give me a massage."

Aubrey gives Chloe a look. "Do _I_ get a massage?" She questions, unconvinced.

"Sure." Chloe pats Aubrey's knee. "Tomorrow."

As they drive back to the apartment, Chloe pulls the folded envelope out of her pocket and takes the key out again. She runs her finger along the teeth and the smooth opposite side, curling her fingers around the key. "There had to be a reason that my uncle hid this underneath the floorboards." Chloe muses. "What do you think is really there?" Somehow she doubts that there is much truth to her fantastical musings from earlier. And for some reason, that's incredibly depressing.

Aubrey just shrugs. "That's what Google is for. We'll at least be able to tell what's at that address."

Chloe thinks about that. About being able to go home and type in the address and actually know some of her uncles secrets instead of just having to make up a story that sounds good to her. It just doesn't seem right.

Chloe rolls the window halfway down and looks at the envelope one final time before tearing it in half and pushing the two pieces outside. The key follows moments later and within seconds, all the pieces are behind them.

Aubrey gives her a confused look. "Why did you do that?"

Chloe shrugs, rolling up the window again. "It just…it seemed like it should stay a secret, I guess." She mumbles, suddenly feeling like an idiot. "It's stupid."

Aubrey smiles and shakes her head. "It's not stupid." She reaches out and takes Chloe's hand, twining their fingers together.

Later that night, when they're laying in bed together, Aubrey fingers herself absently tracing the ridges of Chloe's knuckles and the lines and creases on her palms. "Do you think your uncle really was some sort of gypsy?" She questions softly, her voice melding with the shadows around them.

Chloe smiles softly, though she's not sure if Aubrey can see her or not. She thinks it's funny that Aubrey has brought her uncle up now, hours later, mostly because she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him either, turning the stories over and over in her head.

"Yes." Chloe says with quiet conviction. "He was. Remember, he read my palm and everything."

Aubrey turns Chloe's hand so that her palm is facing up and she traces her finger across the line that curves from the left side of her palm down to the start of her wrist. "What did he say?"

Chloe struggles to remember his exact words, the ones he imparted to her when she was seven-years-old and sitting cross-legged on the living room floor in front of him. Justine had already lost interest and disappeared into her room but Chloe had wanted to know what type of secrets lay in her future. What could her uncle tell about her just by tracing the lines on her skin?

"He said that I was going to do something great and make a lot of people happy." Chloe says, replaying the memory. "He said I was going to fall in love and it was going to last a lifetime."

Aubrey arches an eyebrow. "Really?"

Chloe can't exactly remember, but she nods anyway. It sounds good. And she's always been a fan of making her own future anyway.

**- - - x x x - - -**

Aubrey meets Parker Coleman on the first day of her sophomore World Lit class. He comes in late and tries to be causal about it but ends up bumping into Aubrey's desk and knocking her books onto the floor, effectively ending the professor's lecture. Aubrey is sure that she's more embarrassed than Parker as she hurries to collect her things, uncomfortable with the amount of attention being given to her. Her cheeks turn a darker shade of red when Parker smiles at her and winks as he hands over her pen and then sits down in the empty desk beside hers. He tries to talk to her after class but Aubrey pretends like she doesn't notice him trying to get her attention and she hurries off to her next class.

On Wednesday, he sits down in the desk next to hers again and when he asks to borrow a pen, she hands him one without even looking in his direction. Aubrey thinks about Parker Coleman when she's supposed to be taking notes on _The Sorrows of Young Werther_. She's never had a guy pay more than just passing attention to her and she's not sure how she feels about the attention now. How is she supposed to respond? What's the appropriate way to react? Is she supposed to feel uncertain and a little uncomfortable? Most things make perfect sense to Aubrey Posen. The opposite sex is not one of them.

This process carries on for the next two weeks. Parker sits next to her and talks to her and smiles at her and walks across campus with her and Aubrey smiles and nods and hopes that he doesn't notice her fidgeting or her uncertainty. She's pretty sure that she's not supposed to feel uncomfortable or shy around him. But maybe she's just misreading her emotions; maybe these are just butterflies that she's feeling and budding excitement.

Parker invites her out for coffee one day after class and Aubrey declines on the pretense that she's too busy. "What about Friday night?" Parker persists, seeming unbothered by her rejection. "You busy then?"

Aubrey nods. "Yes, I have Barden Bellas rehearsals." She tells him, relieved to have a solid excuse that he can't possibly argue with.

"What about after?" Parker presses, smiling at her. "Let me take you out to dinner after."

Aubrey shakes her head. "My roommate and I have a standing date Friday nights. I'm sorry." She is, after all, a busy girl. Aubrey Posen is not one for empty calendar squares.

Parker arches an eyebrow. "So cancel. I'm sure she'll understand." He suggests with a smile. "I want to take you out."

Aubrey swallows, her throat feeling dry all of the sudden. Is this normal too? Surely what she's feeling now are those butterflies that everyone always talks about. "I'll think about it." She says, even though she knows that she won't cancel on Chloe. She just doesn't want to be rude.

For whatever reason, Parker seems to like her comment. He grins at her and nods. "Okay, you do that." He leaves her puzzling over his words outside her sociology classroom.

Aubrey is glad to find Chloe already at home when she returns from her last class of the day. While she's not exactly pleased that her roommate has decided to skip out on her physics class, she's willing to let it go for now so that she can talk to her friend. Chloe is still wearing her pajamas and looks perfectly comfy propped up by her pillows as she reads the latest Dennis Lehane book.

Without a second thought, Aubrey kicks off her shoes, sets down her bag and gets into bed beside Chloe. It's a ritual they developed throughout their freshmen year; to be fair, it was Chloe who started that ritual by blatantly ignoring Aubrey's personal space and adopting a _what's yours is mine _attitude. Now it doesn't ever occur to Aubrey to mind.

Chloe puts her arm around Aubrey without thinking and continues reading. Aubrey watches her eyes as they jump from line to line, finding the fact that Chloe's lips are pursed and her brow furrowed to be highly entertaining. Chloe's investment in fictional characters and story lines never fails to amuse Aubrey.

However, she can't find it in herself to be patient right now. She gives her friend an impatient look. "I need to ask you something."

Chloe marks her place and gives Aubrey her undivided attention while Aubrey explains the situation with Parker and expresses her doubt and uncertainty about going out with him. Chloe strikes her as the type of person who will know exactly how she's supposed to feel and react in this situation.

"Wait, so he's been talking to you since the beginning of the semester?" Chloe questions. "Why have you never mentioned him before?" There's just the smallest trace of hurt in her tone, but she manages to hide it from Aubrey.

Aubrey shrugs. "It just didn't seem important enough to mention." She tells her roommate.

"Do you like him?" Chloe questions, running her finger along the pages in her book just to give herself something to focus on.

Once again, Aubrey just shrugs. "I'm not sure. I…guess?" Isn't that what her feelings mean? Isn't she supposed to be shy or bashful around someone that she likes? She never knows what to say and she finds herself feeling uncertain whenever Parker talks to her. Isn't that how heroines in romantic comedies usually behave?

Chloe purses her lips and shifts her position slightly so that Aubrey is no longer leaning against her side. "So go out with him I guess."

Aubrey raises an eyebrow. "Is that what you would do?"

"I don't like him." Chloe replies.

"But if you _did_." Aubrey presses.

Chloe rolls her eyes. "I don't."

Aubrey pouts and flops down on Chloe's pillow tower. "What's your problem?" She crosses her arms over her chest.

"No problem." Chloe says, getting off the bed and setting her book aside. "I don't have a problem."

"I thought friends were supposed to talk about this type of stuff." Aubrey remarks, watching Chloe pace the length of their dorm room like a frustrated zoo animal.

Chloe sighs and looks at Aubrey. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Aubrey rolls her eyes and stares up at the ceiling. "Forget it. I just wanted your advice. Forget I asked."

Chloe sits down on the edge of Aubrey's bed. "I told you to go out with him if you like him. What else do you want me to say?"

"I said forget it." Aubrey doesn't know why she's suddenly getting so annoyed with Chloe or why they're sitting here snapping at each other. She's never heard Chloe use a terse tone of voice the entire time that she's known her and for some reason that makes her annoyed too. Like, what the hell did she do anyway?

"Okay." Chloe rolls her eyes and picks up her book, laying down on Aubrey's bed and starting to read again.

Things continue in this way until they have to get ready to go to Bellas practice and during one of the dance routines, Aubrey accidently spins left instead of right and crashes right into Chloe and they both end up on the floor laughing while Emily, the new Bellas' captain, glares at them. Chloe, who had been silent during the walk to practice, is her usual chatter-box self on the way back to their dorm and as they shower in adjacent stalls, they sing "Turn the Beat Around" at the top of their lungs and everything seems like it's back to normal again.

In fact, Aubrey doesn't even spare Parker a passing thought until the following afternoon, when she and Chloe run into him at the dining hall. Parker puts his hand on her shoulder and she turns around, surprised. He smiles at her and she feels a twinge of annoyance.

"So, did you think about our date?" Parker questions and when Aubrey hesitates, his gaze shifts toward Chloe. "You must be the roommate. Mind if I borrow her for a Friday night?"

Chloe narrows her eyes slightly and Aubrey decides it might be best to intervene. "I can't do Friday." She tells him. "We have plans."

"So Saturday then." Parker shrugs. "I'm not taking any excuses this time, Posen. You got it? Saturday I'll meet you outside your hall and we'll go to lunch. Okay?" Aubrey just nods because she's not sure what else to do. "Great. I can't wait. I really want to spend time with you, Aubrey Posen."

Parker goes off to rejoin his friends and Aubrey and Chloe find a seat in the crowded dining area and sit in silence. Chloe picks at her food, which is just as unusual for her as the prolonged silence but Aubrey doesn't bother to question her about her behavior. She's too busy thinking about Parker and their upcoming dinner date, which is only two days away. Is she supposed to be excited? Or nervous? What's the appropriate reaction here?

She and Chloe don't talk about her upcoming date. In fact, they don't talk about much at all. That Friday night Bellas rehearsal marks the first since their induction into the group when the captain doesn't have to glare at them for being distracted. But they still adhere to their typical Friday night routine, which involves Chinese food and watching a movie on Aubrey's laptop.

Chloe is stretched out so that her feet are resting in Aubrey's lap and Aubrey has been absently running her thumb back and forth along the curve of her ankle for the past twenty minutes. Not that this bothers Chloe in the least. Aubrey's subconscious little touches always make her feel languid and unguarded.

Maybe that's why she hears herself saying, "Don't go out with him."

Aubrey's brow knits and she glances away from the movie and toward her friend. "What?" Maybe she misheard or misunderstood.

Chloe purses her lips nervously. "I…I don't think you should go out with that guy tomorrow."

"Why?" Aubrey questions, reaching forward to pause the movie. This seems like a conversation she wants to give all her attention to.

Chloe sighs but doesn't respond right away. She can't seem to find the words that she needs. "I just…don't think you should." She mumbles finally to avoid saying what she actually wants to say.

Aubrey raises an eyebrow, looking at the other girl. "That's the only answer that you can give me? You just don't think I should?" She repeats. "Why not?"

Chloe opens her mouth but closes it again, shaking her head instead. Aubrey narrows her eyes. "I think I know what this is about." She moves to get off the bed, pushing Chloe's feet out of her lap as she stands up. "You're jealous."

Chloe sits upright, gaping at Aubrey. "_What_?!" Her eyes go wide. "I am not _jealous_!"

"Yes you are, you totally are." Aubrey jabs a finger at Chloe. "_That's_ what this is about. You're jealous because you don't have any guys asking you out on dates and I do and you're jealous."

Chloe scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I am not jealous because you have some frat-boy douchebag asking you out on a date." She narrows her eyes at Aubrey. "That's ridiculous."

Aubrey crosses her arms over her chest and arches an eyebrow. "Really? Because I don't think it is. Why else would you want to keep me from going out with him? You're just petty and jealous because someone likes me."

"Well, let's see how long that lasts. He doesn't have to live with you; he has no idea what a pain in the ass you are." Chloe snaps. "Let's see how long he likes you after he really gets to know the real you and figures out what a control freak you are or how everything has to be your way all the time. Or that you throw up when you get nervous. That's a real winning quality."

Aubrey glares at Chloe, her hands clinching. She turns on her heel and walks out of the room, not bothering to even grab her shoes or house keys. Chloe calls her name right as she slams the door so it's easy for Aubrey to pretend that she didn't hear her.

Aubrey barely makes it down the hall to the bathroom before she finds herself unable to keep down the Chinese takeout from earlier. She holds her hair back with one hand as she throws up, relieved that the bathroom is momentarily empty of anyone who could witness her mortification. She starts to cry, resting her forehead against her forearm. She's not sure if she's crying because she's embarrassed or because she's fighting with Chloe or because everything that Chloe said was absolutely right and she'll never find someone who can look at all her flaws and fall in love with her anyway.

For lack of anything better to do, Aubrey stays there on the bathroom floor until she thinks that maybe Chloe has gone to sleep. She rinses out her mouth and washes the sweat and tears off her face and walks back to her dorm. Thankfully, Chloe has decided not to be cruel and lock her out. The lights are off and Aubrey can make out the shape of Chloe curled under the covers, apparently asleep because she doesn't give any indication that she hears Aubrey come in.

Aubrey gets beneath the covers of her own bed but finds it impossible to fall asleep.

In the morning, Aubrey hears Chloe get up and leave the room without a word. Further investigation shows that Chloe's running shoes and iPod are gone, which leads Aubrey to believe that her friend (is it still okay to call Chloe her best friend after last night?) isn't going to the housing department to beg for a room reassignment. She feels sick to her stomach when she thinks about her fight with Chloe the night before. She knows that she has every right to be pissed at Chloe for the hurtful things that she said but she just can't stop thinking about how horrible it would be to lose her only friend.

Aubrey decides to focus her attention on getting ready for her lunch date with Parker in hopes that it'll provide a welcome distraction but she feels like she's focusing on the wrong thing. She doesn't know why she even got so upset with Chloe the night before. A part of her had been wanting someone to say those exact words to her, to tell her not to go, to take away the pressure to felt to go on this date. So why did she react the way she did as soon as she got exactly what she wanted?

Chloe returns to the room just as Aubrey is putting the finishing touches on her outfit. She's supposed to meet Parker in ten minutes and she hates being late. She's wearing jeans and a blouse and doesn't have on too much makeup because she doesn't want to give Parker the wrong idea. She really doesn't want to give Parker any ideas at all, but she's never been one to back out of commitments.

Chloe gives Aubrey the once over as she slips off her running shoes. "You look beautiful." She mumbles as she tosses her shoes into the closet. Aubrey hates it when she does this instead of keeping them neat and organized but she doesn't say anything. "Aubrey, I'm-" But she stops herself and says instead, "I hope you have fun."

"Thanks." Aubrey mumbles, looking down at her feet. She hates this. She really hates this.

Chloe gets her shower caddy and towel and leaves the room without another word. Aubrey thinks about going after her but doesn't. She has to meet Parker, after all, and why should she be the one to apologize anyway? _She_ didn't insult Chloe. _She_ didn't verbalize some of Chloe's darkest fears. So why should _she_ have to apologize? Posens never apologize.

Aubrey is a few minutes early to meet Parker but he's a few minutes late and that is not a good sign in her book. But she doesn't say anything, just smiles when he smiles at her and agrees with him when he says it sounds like a good idea to go to Little Five and get something to eat and then maybe drive around for a bit. Aubrey isn't sure what kind of date that is but she's never really been on a date before so how should she know anyway? She lets Parker take her hand as they walk across campus to his car even though she doesn't like the way that it feels to have his fingers wrapped around hers and his palm is sweaty.

The way that Parker drives makes her nervous because he spends more time looking over at her while he talks instead of watching the road. The silence that fills the car is awkward, not comfortable like it often is whenever Aubrey and Chloe lapse into periods of quiet and Parker is always quick to fill those awkward moments with near continuous talk about the school hockey team and his fraternity. It eventually gets to point where Aubrey wouldn't be able to get a word in edgewise, even if she did have something to add, so she just nods at the right moments and tries to file this information away.

They go to some cheesy 1950's themed diner for lunch and, again, Aubrey is pretty sure it's not a typical date spot but she doesn't really have anything to base that idea on. Aubrey doesn't find anything on the menu that looks too appealing because she doesn't usually eat food with such low nutritional value but she orders something anyway and spends most of the time picking at her food and listening to some story Parker is telling about a recent mixer. She's really trying, she is; she's trying to have fun and enjoy herself on this, her very first date. But Aubrey can't help but wish that she was somewhere else.

"So what's your deal?" Parker questions when he finally pauses his story. "You've barely said two words."

Aubrey bites her tongue to keep from pointing out that that's a bit of an exaggeration. "I'm sorry." She says sincerely. "I just…my roommate and I had a fight last night and I keep thinking about that."

"Well, you know how girls can be." Parker shrugs dismissively. "I'm sure it'll just blow over. Plus, you shouldn't be worrying about that now anyway. You're out with me." He smiles at her and Aubrey wonders if he was trying to be cute or cocky.

After lunch, Parker suggests they drive around and check out this place near the Landtrust, which is a part of the city that's a weird hodgepodge of hipsters, wanna-be hippies and the occasional homeless person. Old houses have been transformed into apartment buildings or condos and the yards are almost always overgrown with weeds and littered with the remnants of parties that have been hosted there. The porches are usually overflowing with potted plants and sculptures and half-painted canvases and Aubrey can only imagine what the houses look like on the inside. It's never been the type of place that she's wanted to spend a lot of time in, though it makes sense to her that Parker would like it.

At the end of the street crammed with houses is a spacious, partially wooded field that is overgrown in some places and completely flat in others. During high school, Aubrey used to hear stories about the public school kids who would come out here over the weekend and build a bonfire so they could smoke weed and have sex. She's also heard rumors that there's an emu that lives somewhere out here but that story is just a little too ludicrous for her to believe.

Parker takes a blanket out of the backseat and spreads it across the hood of the car, motioning for Aubrey to join him. She hesitates, glancing from the blanket to Parker's eagerly smiling face. "It's really not good to sit on the hood for you car." She points out. "It can damage the engine."

Parker rolls his eyes. "It's fine. I do this all the time." Again he gestures for her to sit down beside him and this time Aubrey does, sighing to herself.

"Why did you want to come here?" Aubrey questions, focusing all her attention on the scraggly field in front of them so she can avoid looking at Parker. She can feel his eyes on her, regardless of the amount of attention she pays to the landscape. "It's ugly."

"It's nice." Parker argues. "It has a certain charm, don't you think?" Aubrey does not think. "Plus it's quiet and private."

Aubrey studiously ignores Parker when he inches close enough to her that their hips and thighs to touch. "You don't say much, do you?" Parker remarks, grinning at her.

Aubrey rolls her eyes and turns to face him. "I say plenty when I actually have something to say." She informs him primly. "I don't believe in talking just to talk." Her father has always said that prattling is just a waste of time and if you don't have something worthwhile to say then don't say anything at all. The latter was especially important to Marc, because he never seemed to believe that Aubrey had anything important to say.

It seems as though Parker has also had enough of talking just to talk. He leans forward and kisses Aubrey. He puts one hand on the side of her face and the other on the inside of her thigh and Aubrey is glad that she decided to wear jeans instead of the skirt that she'd originally picked out. She can feel the heat of his hand through her jeans and his lips feel strange against hers like she's not entirely sure what she's supposed to be doing right now.

Aubrey turns her head away, feeling her cheeks heat up. "I-"

But Parker leans in for another kiss and the hand that previously rested against the side of her face slips through her hair and around the curve of her neck. His other hand moves up to the hem of her shirt, pressing against the skin underneath.

Aubrey pulls away and slips off the hood of the car, desperate to put some distance between them. She's always wondered what it would be like to be kissed but now she's sorry she asked. This is not a moment straight out of a romantic comedy and all Aubrey feels is uncomfortable.

"What's your deal?" Parker questions, narrowing his eyes, his annoyance obvious.

Aubrey purses her lips and smoothes down the front of her shirt. "I think you should take me back to campus now."

Parker looks almost confused by her words but his expression quickly shifts into a glare. "You're kind of a stuck up bitch." He tells her frankly. "I don't know why I ever thought this was a good idea. I can't imagine why anyone would actually _want_ to spend time with you."

Aubrey thinks about Chloe's words from the night before. _Let's see how long he likes you after he gets to know the real you_. Apparently her words were not very far from the truth. Aubrey lifts her chin and tries to muster a bit of dignity even though she suddenly feels like crying. "Take me back. Now."

The ride back to Barden seems to take forever in Aubrey's opinion, mostly because the atmosphere in the car is more than awkward, it's angry and uncomfortable. Aubrey stares out the window and counts the seconds in her mind, desperate to be back in her dorm room.

Parker doesn't say anything to her when they get back to campus. He just locks the car and starts off across the parking lot, not even bothering to give her a backward glance. That's just fine with Aubrey. She doesn't really have anything to say to him either.

As she walks across campus. Aubrey can't help but critique every minute of their date, analyzing her thoughts and feelings and Parker's words at the end. One of the areas she excels in is replaying her mistakes over and over again in her mind and she can't help but do that now. What _is_ her problem? Why did she react that way when Parker kissed her? She had thought that being kissed would be a big deal, that it would be one of those great movie moments that she would never want to end. But having him kiss and touch her had been anything but perfect or comfortable. Why? What had she done wrong? And obviously Chloe was spot on with her assessment from last night. Though thinking about Chloe only makes Aubrey more upset so between those thoughts and thoughts of her "date" with Parker, it's hardly any wonder that she's in tears by the time she gets back to her dorm.

Chloe is leaning against the headboard, her physics book propped on her knees, when Aubrey walks in. In spite of Aubrey's best efforts to control her tears, Chloe notices her watery eyes right away. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" She questions, putting her textbook aside and getting out of bed. "What happened?"

Aubrey ignores Chloe, turning her back to her friend and walking over to the closet and staring at the clothes like the secret of life is somehow hidden among those hangers. But really, she's just too ashamed to admit to Chloe that she was right.

"Bree?" Chloe presses, coming to stand behind her roommate. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Aubrey snaps, grabbing a shirt off one of the hangers. But she doesn't know why. It's not like she feels like changing. She feels like laying in bed until she can figure out how to be different.

Chloe scoffs. "You're crying. That is not nothing." She puts her hand on Aubrey's shoulder. "Just tell me-"

Before she can finish her sentence, Aubrey turns around and throws her arms around Chloe's shoulders, pressing her face against the side of Chloe's neck and closing her eyes. She doesn't start to cry or rush to explain herself to Chloe or say anything at all. Just this moment is enough.

They don't talk for a while. Chloe doesn't press and Aubrey doesn't volunteer. Instead they both lay down on Chloe's bed, forming a complete set of parenthesis as they lay facing each other. Aubrey finds herself slipping in and out of sleep, making up for the hours she lost the night before, her exhaustion and disappointment no match for the way that Chloe plays with her hair.

It's dark in the room the next time Aubrey opens her eyes and she feels confused and disoriented. Chloe is still sleeping just inches away from her and it takes Aubrey a second to remember why she's laying in Chloe's bed in the first place. She feels the familiar emotions of self-doubt and disappointment when memories of her "date" with Parker come back.

Aubrey moves off Chloe's bed as quietly as she can, not wanting to wake up her roommate. She has a bad taste in her mouth from her barely eaten diner food and she is desperate to wash her face, as though that might somehow help erase the majority of this day.

But Aubrey doesn't make it to the door before she hears Chloe's voice. "Skipping out on me? I feel so used."

Aubrey smirks and turns around to face Chloe. "No, of course not. I'll call you." Aubrey teases and winks at the redhead.

"That's what they all say." Chloe moves into a sitting position and yawns. "Where are you going?" Aubrey tells her and Chloe gets off the bed and stretches her arms over her head. "I'll go with you."

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "I can go to the bathroom by myself."

"I have to pee anyway." Chloe says, pulling open the door. "I totally did not mean to fall asleep like that. I feel horrible." She links arms with Aubrey's as they start to walk toward the community bathrooms.

"Why?" Aubrey questions, giving Chloe a look of confusion.

Chloe shrugs. "I fell asleep and you needed to talk."

Aubrey sighs and goes over to the sink to splash some cold water on her face. "There's nothing to say." She mutters, self conscious and hyper aware because they aren't the only ones in the bathroom. "It was a disaster. I was horrible. It's over."

Chloe gives her a doubtful look but doesn't say anything more, for which Aubrey is grateful. When they get back to the dorm, Aubrey flips on the light and feels much more awake and put together than she did only minutes ago.

Chloe sits down in Aubrey's desk chair and watches the blonde silently for a moment. Aubrey suddenly feels self-conscious and wishes that they lived in an actual apartment so she could legitimately busy herself doing something. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of opportunities afforded by their small dorm room.

"You're not horrible Aubrey." Chloe says finally and Aubrey looks up at her roommate. "Don't ever think that. That's ridiculous."

Aubrey scoffs and shakes her head. "No, it's not. You weren't wrong yesterday. In fact, you were absolutely right. I'm a pain in the ass, I'm a control freak and I…I can't do anything right or normal no matter how hard I try. No one wants to put up with that." She shrugs. "It's fine, it's better actually. No distractions."

Chloe's brow knits and Aubrey wishes that she could read the expression on her face. It's too full of emotion for her to be able to easily decipher. "I was wrong. All that stuff I said before…I don't believe any of it. Please, don't believe it either."

"Don't apologize." Aubrey insists, giving Chloe a forced smile. "Don't feel bad for telling the truth. You're right, Parker is right, you're -"

But Chloe doesn't give her the chance to finish. "Oh, forget about Parker. Whatever he said…he's an asshole. Screw him. All those things I said yesterday, those are things that I love about you. Those are the things that I want to get to know about you, Aubrey."

"Why?" Aubrey looks at Chloe, uncomprehending. "What good are the flaws?"

Chloe just shakes her head, giving Aubrey a sad sort of smile. "They're not flaws, Aubrey. It's just who you are." She stands up and quickly crosses the distance between them. "It's real. It's you."

Aubrey scoffs. "Unfortunately."

Chloe takes her hands and links their fingers together, holding onto Aubrey with a ferocity that she's never displayed before. Chloe's hands are soft against her own; she doesn't have to fumble like she did with Parker. "No. Don't do that. Don't put yourself down. You don't have to feel bad about yourself."

Chloe seems so desperate, so adamant that Aubrey just nods because she worries that if she doesn't then she's going to throw Chloe into a fit of anxiety. "Okay. I'm sorry." She assures her friend quickly. "I won't."

Chloe nods and purses her lips, but she doesn't seem completely satisfied. She pulls Aubrey into a hug and rests her chin on Aubrey's shoulder and closes her eyes. "I'm sorry you had a bad time with Parker. But I could tell he was going to be an asshole."

Aubrey laughs a little bit and shakes her head. "You were right. I shouldn't have gone."

"You know what you need? Ice cream. Lots of ice cream." Chloe decides, pulling away from Aubrey and nodding. "Let's get ice cream."

"I really haven't eaten anything today. I really shouldn't get ice cream." Aubrey protests but she knows it's a losing battle.

Because Chloe drags her to the little convenience store on campus anyway and they get way too much ice cream in Aubrey's opinion, considering the fact that they don't have a freezer or even a mini fridge. Though Aubrey wouldn't be surprised if that was all part of Chloe's plan because now they have to eat all the ice cream or have it go to waste.

Back in the dorm, they sit on Chloe's bed and eat ice cream straight out of the tubs and watch _Step Up_ and Aubrey forgets all about Parker. Because Chloe's right; he _was_ an asshole and she shouldn't care what he thinks anyway. She feels better because of Chloe, who seems to think that it's a good idea that they spend time together. Chloe, who wants to spend time with her even though she's flawed and is a pain in the ass and hard to get along with. And having Chloe seems better than having anything else.

For the second time that day, they lay down together in Chloe's bed, even though the mattresses aren't made for two and Aubrey has never been in the habit of sharing a bed with someone before. But with Chloe, it doesn't feel so bad. It doesn't feel crowded or awkward or strange. It just feels comforting and Aubrey knows that she's not going to have any trouble falling asleep even though she slept through most of the afternoon.

Chloe takes her hand and traces her fingers along Aubrey's palm and Aubrey laughs and tries to pull her hand away. "That tickles." She says but she doesn't protest when Chloe continues to hold onto her hand and trace the creases in her skin. "What are you doing?"

"I'm reading your palm, what does it look like?" Chloe questions before putting on a studious look and nodding thoughtfully. "Yep, just like I thought. This line here means that you're going to live a happy life."

Aubrey laughs and shakes her head. "You don't know that." She protests.

"Yes I do. I'm a professional palm reader." Chloe assures her friend. She traces another line on Aubrey's palm and Aubrey feels a pleasant shiver skitter down her spine. "This one means that you're going to realize one day that there's someone who already likes you."

Aubrey rolls her eyes. "Now I know you're making that up. That's not even a real thing." She chides, shaking her head.

But she still doesn't pull her hand away. And she doesn't discourage Chloe from tracing patterns on her skin or following the lines on her palms with the tips of her fingers. She just lays her head on Chloe's shoulder and closes her eyes, listening to the movie and the sounds of Chloe's steady breathing. This feels…nice. Comfortable.

By the time that Chloe finally confesses, a few weeks later, the real reason that she didn't want Aubrey to go out with Parker, it's already too late for Aubrey. Without even meaning to, she's already falling in love. Without even noticing, she's let Chloe see her flaws and wants her stay anyway. Without even realizing it, she's already let Chloe into her heart, braiding her into the ventricles and veins until she's as necessary to life as the arteries that carry her blood. She couldn't untangle her if even if she wanted to.

But she doesn't want to.

**end. **


End file.
